Feel a bit obliged (in the nicest possible way!) to keep you guys updated with the medical stuff. Hmm – sorry! 😉
Yesterday’s chat went really well in terms of being given loads of time to ask pretty much every Q I could think of, although she already had answers to most of them in the initial ‘let’s explain everything properly’ – really quite impressed that she’d picked up on a lot of my reservations from previous appointment, and was so on the ball. And it turns out that not knowing was a large chunk of my issues, so while I’m never going to be happy about all of this, I feel a bit more settled.
Long story short (too late!) it’s looking now like I’ll be having 2 operations. From the initial issue with the parathyroid, the main focus now is on the thyroid nodule and the possible risk it might pose – if not now, then later. Because they won’t/can’t operate twice on the same side, they’re unwilling to remove the parathyroid gland (left side) until they’ve done a full pathology on the thyroid nodule (right side) and ruled out any hint of cancer (!) which would make them want to remove the rest of the thyroid. Urgh. It feels like I’m in one of the ‘tall tales’ where the story just keeps growing on every telling!
I do have the option of just having everything removed in one go, but I’m unwilling to lose my entire thyroid function and be drug-dependent for the rest of my days for a ‘just in case’ – and to be clear, there is no sign of cancer from the biopsy I have had. I could also postpone it all and see what another 2, 3, 4 biopsies show, but to be honest I think the only gain from that is taking 2 surgeries down to 1, while still having the same bits removed, and adding up to a year on to my whole experience of this. With the 2-op approach, I’d have one next month and one maybe in May (they like a gap in the middle, alas!), so by July-ish I might be starting to get my life back. More biopsies means I’d still be facing the surgery at that point.
Okay, prob more info than everyone needed!
Overall I’m feeling much calmer, or at least more resigned. I still freak out a bit occasionally (hah!), but I think I’ve accepted the inevitability of this. Which isn’t to say that I’m not still having problems concentrating (is that the calcium or the stress?!) or not facing a few ‘what’s the point’ feelings about starting/doing stuff, but I figure both me and the world might have to lump that for a few more weeks.
I remain determined to have as much fun as possible before I’m off my feet for a while, and to be as kind to myself as possible. And it shouldn’t take surgery to think like that, really, but hey-ho.
I am starting to plan/prioritise what needs done ahead of surgery (whether it’s 3 or 4 weeks away?), but given my first thought was “make sure the Tivo has enough free space for the time I’m away” – yeah 😉