calypte 8th January

Having a lovely weekend. I’m refusing to feel guilty about being a bit lazy although (with apologies that 90% of my chat these days revolves around surgery but it’s ::ahem:: a little on my mind! o_O) I do feel a bit bad for not doing all the stuff that I won’t be able to do for a while, soon. Argh. But on the other hand, I’ve been describing my last two mornings as the “resetting” routine, or “zen-morning”: cup of tea taken back to bed while I read, then meditate and do my stretches before getting another cuppa and journalling. It’s been blissful!

Yesterday I also caught up with old school friend, and it was ace. It’s that kind of friendship that, even though we haven’t seen each other in forever, we just fall back into each other’s company very easily. Although I had somehow missed or forgotten that she’d been vegetarian for over a decade – oops! I am so unobservant sometimes! Anyway, we chatted through 8 hours of coffee, art, tapas and cocktails, and it was superb, even the bemoaning of our totally opposite ends of the dating spectrum failings! 😉 I’d love to say we’ll do it more often – as ever, the intention is there, so who knows?

Plan for today is minimal, beyond the usual of laundry, catching up on some of my meant-to-do bits and pieces, and a bit of a catch up TV binge. As I said, feel I ‘should’ be going for long walks etc rather than stuff I can/will be doing while recovering from the upcoming horror (is there an element of “What’s the point?” creeping in? Hmm!). Can you tell that I’m still freaking out about it? I’ve moved on to the point where I recognise that it IS happening, it’s not something I can avoid, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be happy about it. Duh.

Tomorrow afternoon I’m going back to talk to the surgeon again, and I think I’m prepared with my questions. Gulp. MUST phone the insurer in the morning, see what’s available via them. Tuesday I have a session at Maggies – not sure if I might book the afternoon off just ‘cos. I have booked Friday, and my dad is joining me at the cinema. Wednesday night I’m off to Shakespeare, so had pondered Thursday off for the lie in, but we’ll see – I definitely do NOT feel guilty about taking holidays right now, am actually kind of glad it occurred to me to have a little fun!

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Comments on: "calypte 8th January" (3)

  1. I knew I could always count on you to post on a Sunday! I am not sure why we are the only 2 doing that around here, but today I am working on a paper with a strangling deadline, and the weather is nice and bright outside, so it feels good to think of you, all the way up to Edinburgh, and to read of your reflections and your plan. Even though of course the thought of surgery is comprehensibly a bit troubling. I am not sure what to say, but you sound like a tough sturdy girl from this distance and I hope you can find the resources (both external and internal) to rise to the occasion and quickly put this behind your back, so you can start to look forward with a smile soon.

  2. Glad you had a good time with your school friend, and I don’t blame you for taking it easy when you have the prospect of surgery coming up in the near future. Hope the chat with the surgeon goes well today.

  3. I came to the conclusion over the weekend that my primary focus for the next month or so is dealing with and then going through and recovering from surgery. It’s quite a big deal, so there’s no need for the pressure of any other big goals. I think the same is true for you, too! Just be kind and gentle with yourself and get through to the other side.

    I hope your meeting with the surgeon goes well and leaves you feeling that you are in the best of hands.

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