Weekends don’t really mean much when you’re not at work, but after a busyish week I’m finding myself in need of a ‘slump day’! I did almost head for the library this morning – get a good long walk in – when the weather was much better than forecast, but it greyed over quickly and is now raining heavily. More, though, just the thought of all that exercise was exhausting. I feel a little worn out!
Some of that is very probably stress. Roof repairs – random swearing! Hospital results – argh! Work – eeeek! I now seem to be in a “when are you back?” questioning phase, leaving me feeling almost guilty. But then got a letter from the GP this morning asking me to make an appointment, which set total panic in me briefly (it’s a phone appt, so prob nothing too bad, right?!) but at least reminded me that there is a reason I’m still off!
So, trying to take the opportunity to learn to listen to my body a bit more. Yesterday at least saw me back on the healthy eating, although was silly about getting to bed late when I’d been complaining all day about being tired! Think I fancy drafting myself up a fairly fixed bedtime routine – say, lighting a candle (want an excuse to find/use my posh candles I bought last year!) for some meditation, maybe even a 10-minute zentangle, setting aside a half hour for reading, other useful things if I can think of some – and resetting that side of things. Again! Getting enough sleep is so core to everything, it deserves some effort.
Ooh – my buband arrived yesterday! It seems to work 🙂 I’ve still got another couple of months (I think) before my gym membership reactivates, so continuing with the exercise as a slow build up towards being able to do more once I am back on treadmills, etc.
I’m trying to make all this not about ‘shoulds’, but about learning to want to do the stuff that’s good for me. My wii-in this morning went in the right direction for the first time this week, after all the takeaway etc at the weekend, which is a real motivator towards healthier options! And on the other side, just ‘allowing’ myself to do random, daft things ‘cos they take my fancy – really take away that feeling that I never quite get ’round to stuff.
I’m just waffling a bit now, but want to share this quote I read this morning, from The Art of Good Habits, about always being in a state of chasing goals but not always being happy if we reach them:
“We don’t understand and appreciate that what makes us happy ultimately is experiencing the present moment with all of its fullness right here and right now. There’s no trick, no test to pass, and no great reward. There is the simple but profound gift of time, and our conscious ability to receive and appreciate that gift.”
Nothing ‘new’, per se, but I loved the bit before that, too, about refinding an appreciation for time as the cycle of seasons, the cycle of a day, and not just rushing through the hours trying to cram everything in. So, there’s something for my new evening meditation routine to focus on!