OMG. I am online. On my laptop. Not squinting over my iPhone or looking wistfully at things I can’t afford on the computer in my lunchbreak at work. I am ON-freaking-LINE. OK…so I’m stealing someone else’s unsecured wireless but more fool them, I was literally going crazy without it so have dropped any pretence of fear at either getting found out and shouted at or of a horrible virus getting into my machine (might happen) and got the hell into the World Wide Web.
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been desperately unhappy. I’m still not right now and I don’t know if I’m turning a corner or just feeling OK for the moment. I don’t really know what to do about it and feel rather adrift and pathetic. This is badass, this isn’t just feeling a bit sad and down and/or pre-menstrual, this is a full on, snarling Black Dog sinking his teeth into me. I’m afraid because of this and because I’ve not properly been online I haven’t been keeping up with everyone so I have no idea how everyone is and what everyone’s up to and because of this (and the Dog and my prolonged absence) I feel a little like I’m crashing the party – especially as I missed all the Other Place hoo-ha. Anyway. Let’s not dwell on that, today has been one of my better days so let’s celebrate the reasons why:
1. Train Regulars – There is a morning one and a couple of evening ones. The morning one is a guy with great curly hair and good dress sense who I like to spot as I get off the train and also as he passes me on the escalator (I’m a stander, he’s a walker!). The afternoon ones are a gay couple (I’m not certain but am pretty sure) who get off at my stop and they seem cute and lovely and I like the continuity of having them in my carriage!
2. That the boys, R and myself seem to have formed a lovely little post-Training group and we do lunch and so on. Also M went to grab me when he thought I was about to be run over on the way to the pub at lunchtime and it was a fleeting and small moment but it was lovely to have someone be so protective.
3. That I had to call my old work with a genuine work query and I got through to one of my bestest buddies. It made me deliriously happy.
4. Arranging a meet up with a few people I went to school with. Scary stuff but also pretty exciting. Hope I’m not so mopey by then
5. That there are red skinny jeans on ASOS Curve. I want them a lot.
6. Bradley Cooper in The Hangover II
8. Being online. OMFG this feels SO GOOD.